In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Justin Beiber

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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womens rights

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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anus

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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