How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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YOU

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops