Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +23

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down +23

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops