Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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I am quite mature.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops