Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

Testicles.

Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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