Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops