What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +28

your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +28

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Butt poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti jokes gives me cold sores

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops