What comes after 23? 24.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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