A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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what happens every day? People die

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Wanna hear a joke? Justin bieber

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops