what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Woman's Rights

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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G

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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