What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

Fox News.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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