What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

I'll be back. Please use the door.

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

I just found out i have cancer.

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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