How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

David Silberberg is gay

What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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