My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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whos the bitch now!?! you are.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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