Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

charlie sheen losing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you spell eight? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

brainfart

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops