What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops