A homeless man comes home from work.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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69

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Why is your face? Because.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Society.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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