What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Penis

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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