Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

A black guy with his family.

Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

you know whats weird about italians? their italian

A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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