Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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