I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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