What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops