Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops