What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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9/11 my birthday

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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