How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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