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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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