What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops