Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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