Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I C U P White stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Chinese man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops