- Anti Joke

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

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