A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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Fat? Jesse Z

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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