How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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