Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Shltskc gw? G

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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