What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops