I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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