How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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my mind's eye?

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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