There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

A women left the kitchen.

why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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