How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops