Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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kk

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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REHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHAB

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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