do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

No soup for you!

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

Double-whammy

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

A dancer walks into a barre

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...