Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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