There was a chicken. It squarked.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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k

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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