Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

A miserable man committed suicide.

How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

my mind's eye?

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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