Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Knock knock come in.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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