An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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a man was shot.... he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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