Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down -3

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you ever heard of a goose?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops