So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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knock knock come in !

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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A man goes to the potty.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops