Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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dry handjob

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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