Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Pianos.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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