Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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watch a i d s left

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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