Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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what do poor black guy and poor white guy have in common..................................................... their poor

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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Penis.

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Justin Bieber

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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H o m o comes out as homo

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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