How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's 9+10? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Amazing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops