roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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