Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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Matt is a Duster!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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