Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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