What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

Im taking a shit right now.

yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

Where's my tractor?

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

Women's rights

Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...